Trump jokes

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March 30th, 2019 at 5:24:34 PM permalink
fleaswatter
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 282
One sunny day in February, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine looks at the man and says, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton was not elected President, Donald Trump was.” The old man says, “Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine again tells the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton was not elected President, Donald Trump was.” The man thanks him and again just walks away.

The third day the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already that Mrs. Clinton was not elected President. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”
March 30th, 2019 at 7:51:30 PM permalink
ams288
Member since: Apr 21, 2016
Threads: 17
Posts: 4212
Quote: Evenbob
Really? You're a new member and
post crap like this? Nice first
impression, way to go.


Their first post triggered EB.

Off to a good start!
In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion
April 1st, 2019 at 10:51:01 PM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 41
Melania Trump is enjoying her alone time out of the public eye at one of Mar A Lago's private quarters . She spots a shiny bottle with a genie in it. She rubs the bottle and the Genie appears in life-size, saying, " I have grant-wishing power and I can grant you one wish."

Melanie says, "To build a wall extending along the border my husband wants 10 billion dollars." The Genie replies, "I can grant just about any wish, except for that one. With all my power even I can't do that. Ask for a different wish."

"OK, can you make my husband's hands bigger? His has small hands and you know what they say about men with big hands."

The Genie says, " Let me take another look at the wall."
April 10th, 2019 at 9:47:22 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 137
Posts: 7791
(Stole this one from Late night)

Quote:
President Donald Trump reportedly wondered why the country’s first president didn’t name his Mount Vernon compound after himself. When Trump took a tour of the Virginia estate with French President Emmanuel Macron last April, he told Macron that if George Washington “was smart, he would’ve put his name on it.”
“You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you,”

Shortly afterwards, Trump returned to Washington D.C.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
April 12th, 2019 at 9:52:14 PM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 41
To be fair Trump thought D.C. was named Washington because a revolution of washing started there.
April 16th, 2019 at 6:01:21 AM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 41
Trump is the President who doesn't read. He's not a fan of books and prefers oral communication over written words.
If a historian ever writes a book on ignorance, Trump will never read it.

Trump could write a book on ignorance, but Melania would read it to him.
April 18th, 2019 at 5:25:19 AM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 41
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a condom?

Trump didn't use a condom when cheating on his wife, and condoms are not so thick and insensitive.
April 20th, 2019 at 2:46:15 AM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 41
Jeopardy answer: "Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I'm f cked."

What is Trump's Trail of Fears?
April 20th, 2019 at 10:54:53 AM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 137
Posts: 7791
Caddyshack III,
This shack is whack.
Starring Twiddle Dum and Twiddle Dee.

Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
April 20th, 2019 at 2:33:07 PM permalink
pew
Member since: Jan 8, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 1083
Quote: quadriga
Jeopardy answer: "Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I'm f cked."

What is Trump's Trail of Fears?
I like a good joke as much as the next guy. Could you please up your game a little? Your "jokes" are pretty lame.