Trump jokes

October 25th, 2017 at 2:31:15 PM permalink
terapined
Member since: Aug 6, 2014
Threads: 44
Posts: 4730
All somebody has to do is say Trump
My 1st thought
What a Joke
:-)
Sometimes we live no particular way but our own - Grateful Dead "Eyes of the World"
February 20th, 2018 at 7:42:00 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12542
Trump goes to the doctor complaining of a strong pain in the abdomen.

The doctor first shines a light at his eyes and comments "pupils equal and reactive."

Trump says "Great! I'm not sick!! I'm the healthiest man who's ever lived!"

"Settle down, Mr Trump," says the doctor. "I'm not done with the diagnosis. I've barely begun."

"FAKE NEWS!! You found no evidence of disease! Admit it!! Did you know I won the greatest electoral college victory of all time!! you're trying to bring me down!! Who did you vote fur, HUH!!! Tell me!!" And Trump storms out.

Two days later he dies of a burst appendix and the world becomes a little better.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
February 20th, 2018 at 9:40:15 AM permalink
beachbumbabs
Member since: Sep 3, 2013
Threads: 6
Posts: 1553
Quote: Nareed
Donald Trump is a poor man's idea of a rich man, a stupid man's idea of a smart man, and a weak man's idea of a strong man.


Boy, you really dialed in on it there, Nareed. Perfect.
Never doubt a small group of concerned citizens can change the world; it's the only thing ever has
March 6th, 2018 at 10:53:59 PM permalink
miplet
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 8
Posts: 967
Steve Jobs would have been a better President than Trump.
But I guess itís not fair to compare apples and oranges.
Although that isnít fair to say, since any other corpse would be too.
"...remind me of clue: Colonel Mustard in the billiard room with the candlestick."- Derek Morgan
March 12th, 2018 at 5:45:24 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12542
A riddle:

What's more incompetent than Donald Trump?
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it, you die.

Answer:





spoiler space







more spoiler space




still more spoiler space




Nothing.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
March 21st, 2018 at 10:55:00 AM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 135
Posts: 7190
Q&A


Quote:
President Donald Trump has called himself a genius. Would you agree?


Unquestionably true. He has called himself a genius.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
March 21st, 2018 at 11:04:16 AM permalink
beachbumbabs
Member since: Sep 3, 2013
Threads: 6
Posts: 1553
My mother is really enjoying these. Some of them.are quite good, and original at least to us. Please keep them coming.
Never doubt a small group of concerned citizens can change the world; it's the only thing ever has
March 22nd, 2018 at 2:34:55 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12542
Scene right before Trump's latest lawyer quit:

Trump: So what's your advice?

Lawyer: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Trump: Oh, yeah? Takes one to know one, m*******r!


(Shamelessly stolen from "The Simpsons")
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
March 28th, 2018 at 7:31:00 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12542
Q: What's Donald Trump's religious affiliation?

A: Porn Again Christian.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
March 29th, 2018 at 8:05:14 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12542
A crook, a bully, and a moron walk into a bar.

The bartender says "Mr. Trump, what will it be today?"
Donald Trump is a fucking liar