Trump jokes

I find it easier to adapt jokes told for other purposes. In an ironic twist, some were "ethnic" jokes.

Q: When is Trump 2 feet tall?
A: When he's had the shit scared out of him.


Q: How can Trump most easily kill himself?
A: By jumping off his ego.


Q: How many trumps does it take to screw-in a light bulb?
A: Trick question. You can't literally screw a light bulb.


More as I think of them.

This is not technically a joke, and could even be an actuality.

If Trump is running again in 3 years, one of his opponent's campaign promises may be, "Do want to wake up every morning and not wonder what the hell your President is going to say or do next? Then vote for me!"

And yet if he does run, he will win by a bigger EC margin than this election. Despite not having a candidate as miserable as Hillary.
Wonder if Pocahontas will be the Democrat's standard bearer ?

Quote: buzzardknot

And yet if he does run, he will win by a bigger EC margin than this election. Despite not having a candidate as miserable as Hillary.
Wonder if Pocahontas will be the Democrat's standard bearer ?

They want her, but she seems reluctant to step up for it. The DNC is probably busy looking for a non-white, trans-gender person to run to make sure all the party factions are happy.

Quote: rxwine

This is not technically a joke, and could even be an actuality.

If Trump is running again in 3 years, one of his opponent's campaign promises may be, "Do want to wake up every morning and not wonder what the hell your President is going to say or do next? Then vote for me!"

And now to turn it into a joke:

Q: Why do people call Trump's successor "The Tractor"?
A: Because he's taking over from the jackass.

"WASHINGTON — President Trump is considering rescinding an executive order temporarily barring people traveling to the United States from seven Muslim-majority countries, after he saw a story highlighting a gorgeous Iranian woman that he “absolutely had to grab,” sources confirmed.

According to senior White House sources, the President was watching his favorite shows when he came across a report on a young, buxom Iranian student affected by the ban. “Look at that broad,” a source quoted Trump as saying. “She’s like a Persian Melania — and those tits.”

Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2017/02/groundhog-day-pentagon/#ixzz4XY6Lf5e8

Just check 'the onion' everyday

http://www.theonion.com/article/trump-hails-gorsuch-fierce-protector-future-amendm-55201

I don't recall, have I told the brain store joke before?

Meantime:

A plane carrying Trump, Pence and Putin crashes in the Rockies. There are no survivors. Who is saved?

Answer: The whole fucking planet.

Stick to cooking, sweetheart. Comedy writing is not your strong suit.

Quote: stinkingliberal

We can and should make fun of the Orange Asshole at every opportunity.

I don't mind the orange rectum as much as the incompetent man-child attached to it.

Q: How do you define gross vulgarity?
A: 144 Donald Trumps.