Trump jokes

Quote: stinkingliberal

Would that rather nastily worded comment have anything to do with your partisan views?

We can and should make fun of the Orange Asshole at every opportunity. An illegitimate, incompetent, evil, and stupid man.

And they say liberals don't have a sense of humor.

It could be a rental. I offered to pay for Zuga's!

Quote: stinkingliberal

Well, conservatives may say that, but that's because an advanced concept like humor is beyond them. Teaching humor to a conservative is like teaching quantum physics to a dog.

Oh yeah, and Hillary sent emails!!!!!!!!!!

You keep disappointing me. Don't you have a joke?

Quote: stinkingliberal

It's barely possible that you don't understand that calling someone "sweetheart" can be seen as condescending.

Here's a joke, Jim. Just not a funny one.

So here's the brain store joke:

Joe decides to get a new brain, so he goes to the brain store to get one.

The salesman shows him a few generic ones and quote some low prices, but Joe informs him he has money for something fancy. So the salesman takes him to the showroom, where brains are kept in individual jars, and begins to describe them:

"This, sir, is a very special brain. It belonged to a physics professor who won a Nobel prize. It's 55 years old and it goes for $50 per gram."

"Not bad," says Joe, "but I'd like to see something else."

"OF course, sir. Here's one that belonged to a successful stock broker. It's 60 years old and it's worth $75 per gram."

"Nice. But how about that one with the double-walled glass case?"

"Ah, that's our prized possession. It belonged to Donald Trump. It's 71 years old, and is worth $1,000 per gram."

"Why is it so expensive?"

"It's never been used."

Quote: Nareed

"Ah, that's our prized possession. It belonged to Donald Trump. It's 71 years old, and is worth $1,000 per gram."

"Why is it so expensive?"

"It's never been used."

And how many human-orangutan hybrids' brains have been preserved for posterity?

Stole this from the Tonight Show

Trump may appoint Sarah Palin as ambassador to Canada.

Palin says she's flattered but doesn't really want to move to Europe.

Somehow I missed this one:

You're setting up a picnic by the lake, when you notice a small boat carrying Donald Trump and Steve Bannon capsizes. The men are not wearing life jackets, and they don't appear able to swim.

Question: what sandwich do you have first?

Donald Trump is a poor man's idea of a rich man, a stupid man's idea of a smart man, and a weak man's idea of a strong man.