The Insanity of the United States Postal Service

Quote: Fleastiff

They now have sex dolls that are hooked up to the internet ...(boggle's the imagination, don't it.)

Link please. Lol

Quote: DRich

Link please. Lol

You don't really think that the Internet of Things is to link your refrigerator, stove and shopping list do you? You pay four ninety five an hour to be in the pool of those manipulating the device, you pay ten times that for being a sole manipulator of the device while you watch the video of the woman's response.
Made a fortune in the UK. Remote massage parlor.

PS: Maybe I should stick to stories about giant crabs and Ashley's toes or sea mangoes.

Quote: DRich

Link please. Lol

It would be my luck and I would check the wrong box and get the one that nags.

I am told there is a big difference between nagging and constantly reminding. : )

In the future...

some poor soul will have his app switched from penis massage to banana harvester.

Fortunately any robot sex doll I've seen has been pretty realistic, including the weight, and we don't deliver anything over 70lbs. Because if you get pissed because I read your Reader's Digest before you... XD

Quote: rxwine

In the future...
some poor soul will have his app switched from penis massage to banana harvester.

I have an electronic acquaintance who actually worked in the same beauty salon as Lorina Bobbit. Most girls are interested in the altar but she focused more on the alter.

Quote: DRich

Face, we need some more USPS stories.

Thought of you today.

I was casing spurs (very small parcels) when I came across one with a bunk address. I've sort of picked up the habit of checking the return address, just because I need to attach a name to the mental defective who jacked up the addy. It's petty; I don't care =p I also had some curiosity. You get used to mail. When someone sends something funny, it catches your attention. So when I pick up a fat spur that 100% of the time means a fat bottle of pills and there's no rattle, there's no uniform shape, there's no light weight, it just sort of stands out. Jacked up addy, weird feel, who sent this s#$%?

Guess what the return addy was?

Go ahead, guess. I'll give you 5 eternities, you'll never get it...

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"ANONYMOUS POTATO, Houston, Texas."

That was the addy. AP was the sender, AP was the street address, and it came from Houston.

"ANONYMOUS POTATO
ANONYMOUS POTATO
Houston, Texas."

I squeeze it, feel it,... yup! It's a goddamn potato.

That's it. Just a f#$%ing potato in an envelope.

I was mildly bemused / pissed when it happened. Recalling it, I can't stop laughing XD

An anonymous f#$%ing potato...

Quote: DRich

Face, at your post office or substation would you be the employee voted most likely to go postal?

Make that twice I thought of you.

I get pissed, ya know? Even if I'm having a good day, I gotta find something to get pissed about. It's not a problem, it's how I work. It's the same with hockey, I'll spend the entire drive thinking of everything I can possibly think of that makes me mad. And I mean the s#$% you're supposed to forget before it gives you cancer; that type of s#$% is all I think about. I suppose it's one of my coping mechanisms, how I find the energy to push through the pain.

One of my (pretend) beefs is about mis-sorts. See, when something goes to another guy, they bring it to me where it belongs. Now, I don't know where the f#$% these people went to third grade, but that's one of the first rules you learn - If you touched it last, it's yours. Everybody knows this. Well, these people obviously missed their educations. Every time there's a mis-sort, they bring me my stuff. I've stopped people in mid-flight, I've told them, sometimes harshly, that I ain't doing their f#$%ing work. "Well, it's your route" "MF'er YOU touched it last" I dunno wtf their problem is, but they just don't get it. WON'T get it.

So I'm casing away and I hear R4 go to R3. Then I hear R4 at R2, right next to me. I hear "somethinsomethin to Face". Then "Yeah, it's his". Then a laugh. Then "Me?" Then "Well I don't wanna give it to him, you never know what mood he's in" Then "Really? You don't know what mood he's in?" Then hard laughing.

Wtf they mean implying that they know my mood? So, yes, I ask "Wtf that supposed to mean?" "Oh! No! Nothing! Here, don't shoot me".

So I dunno if "most likely", but at least among those whom are exposed to me, I'm climbing the ranks -_-

Quote: Face

I get pissed, ya know? Even if I'm having a good day, I gotta find something to get pissed about. -

I know somebody like that. He has
a terribly temper, he's always
getting mad over nothing. He's
frustrated because he's unhappy
so he gets mad to vent the
frustration. He has no real friends,
he eventually tells them off and
they want nothing to do with him.

I haven't seen him since 2013 because
he did it to me. Again. This time I'm
staying away for good. Knowing him
is part of the reason I rarely get mad.
It's such a huge waste of time and
energy, and it never fixes anything.

Anonymous Potato is a gag goft company:

https://anonymouspotato.myshopify.com/

Quote: TheCesspit

Anonymous Potato is a gag goft company:

https://anonymouspotato.myshopify.com/

So, their entire line of products is a potato and mini burlap sack. har.