Confessional

Quote: Wizard

Sorry to change the topic, but I have a question for FrG.

Suppose an adult in the confessional says he stole a candy bar as a kid from a store that is still there. Would you?

A. Give him x Hail Marys and an Act of Contrition?
B. A + mail the store an anonymous money order for the cost of the candy in today's dollars?
C. B, except not anonymous but with with a personal note of apology.
D. Other (explain)

Thank you.

Off the top of my head I think if the store was close by I'd ask him to buy some food from that store to donate to a local food bank. Option C is actually not allowed because it would force someone to reveal their sin.

Quote: petroglyph

Have you ever noticed how often the first thing a guy has to get rid of after he gets married, is all his old friends?

Happens all the time, and it does not take until marriage. Remember when you were in HS and a buddy got a gf then you basically never saw him again? Men do not seem to do this to women except abusive guys who intentionally isolate their woman. But women kind of get the guy to give up his old circle within a year. Men always fall into it for some reason.

I remember an article in a GQ-type mag when I was in my mid 20s. Was geared for guys a couple years younger, but it was to prepare them for the falloff of their friend circle as they married and how to minimize it, which really was impossible.

It is what I say is a hidden lesson in the story of Adam and Eve. Adam and God were close until Eve came along. She came between them. Then what happens!

Quote: FrGamble

Off the top of my head I think if the store was close by I'd ask him to buy some food from that store to donate to a local food bank. Option C is actually not allowed because it would force someone to reveal their sin.

Interesting, thanks. What does the church have against revealing the sin?

Quote: AZDuffman

Happens all the time, and it does not take until marriage. Remember when you were in HS and a buddy got a gf then you basically never saw him again?

Women think a husbands single friends
are a bad influence because they think
the husband will be constantly exposed
to single women friends of the single
guy. Women are insecure and on top
of that, are control freaks.

The friend who married the witch had
a sports car and loved golf. He's done
neither since 1976. Sill has the car in
storage somewhere.

I tell young men if they have a good and true friend, keep them.

A good friend will last you through two or three marriages. If someone loves you, they will encourage you to keep those friends. And if they are really friends, they won't try to tap your partner. That would be some of that unforgivable **it.

The insecure women I have witnessed, seem to be afraid that if their new SO has a friend, that was around pre-marriage, that friend might just point out that the bride is lazy as hell and gaining weight like an animal headed for slaughter.

It is impossible to build the self esteem of an insecure woman. You will destroy your own life trying.

I also tell them, the day they get married is the very best that woman will ever look, that's it, that was her apex, and also as friendly as she will ever be. It takes two years to actually know somebody. Everybody starts out putting their best foot forward. Very few can hide it forever. I totally support living together for at least two years prior to marriage. Find out who and what the hell you are going to marry. This "wonderful" discovery process that you are supposed to be in aw of, usually isn't that great. Find out if your prospective spouse is a slob, or lazy or a wife beater before all the legality's, before children are brought in to suffer a worthless partner. Try it before you buy it. [mysogyny off]

Quote: petroglyph

It is impossible to build the self esteem of an insecure woman. You will destroy your own life trying.

For most women I know and have known,
the husband is the only person they can
be themselves with, so they take everything
out on him. He gets the brunt of their anger
and frustration. If they did that to their women
friends, they would reject them. So the husband
gets all of it, until he eventually stops listening
to her and finds a hobby in the garage or
basement.

Shows like Everybody Loves Raymond were number
1 because people related to the relationship between
Ray and Debra, and to the in laws across the street.
Debra treated Ray like he was a small child and she
was his mom, always yelling at him. And Ray had to
sneak around and try and get away with things. People
saw their own marriages there, and related to it.

I avoid my wife as much as possible.

Quote: Evenbob

For most women I know and have known,
the husband is the only person they can
be themselves with,...

They do seem to be able to hide it pretty well until after the wedding though.

Quote:

until he eventually stops listening
to her and finds a hobby in the garage or
basement.

A friend of mine on Kodiak before retiring went to OK, and bought 100 acres. Then he had a nice shop built before building a house. When they arrived there after retiring, the shop was already done. They stayed there in a RV while building a nice home.

We all thought he was a very wise man having the shop built first. It seems if the guy builds the house first, the wife could care less about a good shop for the husband as an alternate place to be. But it the shop/garage is built first, she will see to it the house is constructed.

Quote: petroglyph

We all thought he was a very wise man having the shop built first.

I've known so many men who got
into collecting and repairing things
like watches, model trains, old radios,
cameras, took up making knives or
jewelry. It takes over the basement
and the wives never go down there.
I knew a guy years ago who got home
from work, ate dinner with the fam,
went to the rec room in the basement
and watched TV till everybody was in
bed, then went to bed himself. Anything
to keep your sanity.

Quote: Wizard

Interesting, thanks. What does the church have against revealing the sin?

The confessional is a place where sinners can come knowing that they will encounter only God's mercy and love. It is this love that we pray changes their lives, leads to true repentance and change. Often this includes owing up to the sin they committed. However, this won't happen unless first the sinner has a safe place to confess and repent for their sins. Once the guilt and shame of sin is removed then someone will have the courage and responsibility to strive to make things right as best they can.

Quote: Evenbob

I've known so many men who got
into collecting and repairing things
like watches, model trains, old radios,
cameras, took up making knives or
jewelry. It takes over the basement
and the wives never go down there.
I knew a guy years ago who got home
from work, ate dinner with the fam,
went to the rec room in the basement
and watched TV till everybody was in
bed, then went to bed himself. Anything
to keep your sanity.

I chopped wood, kept old cars running, remodeled, plowed a lot of snow, and worked a lot of hours. Besides that, I spent tons of hours being an intense parent. I guess that according to society's mores, her being fertile is my reward for what I gave? I look at it as, she was the cheapest child care I could afford.

I, like 38% of other males, would not leave the kids. I knew if I left, there would be some slob in there within 3 weeks telling my kids what was right and wrong.

I have heard old bitties more than once talking to each other, they say "how could he leave her after 20 years??? He is awful, etc. etc. Every time I ask myself, how could he have possibly stayed so long?

I lately have been around old people in their declining years, and when the old man gets to feeble to get away from her he takes a hell of a tongue lashing. It'a painful to witness. I figure they have just surrendered, and have lost any will, to start again and to weak to do their own laundry, so they stay.

Makes me think about the "why" of things. Maybe they just need someone to fight with?