My 2 experiences attempting to date this past week

Quote: AZDuffman

Or 12-19% of their income for some other guy's kid!

17% in NY for one child on the first $148k but, the Courts in Manhattan usually raise the bar to 17% of the first $350-$400k
Then, of course, each party responsible for their pro rata share of "add-ons" (health insurance, unreimbursed health care and child/daycare)

And yes, men who are not even the biological father can be held liable for child support

See I'm Pregnant, It's Not Yours, But You're the Father

It's a whole laugh riot

Quote: petroglyph

Haven't you noticed that before you really knew them, what they had to say was interesting, and after you did you wished they would stfu?

It's more like once you get in their pants,
they become boring as hell.

Quote: Evenbob

It's more like once you get in their pants,
they become boring as hell.

Legalize brothels and let the market determine the true value of sex, not courts or religion.

Don't know if it has changed but I worked with a guy that lost his house for spending one night with a woman in Idaho, she sued him for divorce under "common law" marriage .

Quote: petroglyph

Don't know if it has changed but I worked with a guy that lost his house for spending one night with a woman in Idaho, she sued him for divorce under "common law" marriage .

Seems like there has to be more to the story. One of the requirements of a common law marriage was you had to live as and present yourself as husband and wife. One night would not meet the test.

In one of the courthouses I worked there was a big sign that said there was no common law marriage in Pennsylvania.

Quote: aceofspades

17% in NY for one child on the first $148k but, the Courts in Manhattan usually raise the bar to 17% of the first $350-$400k
Then, of course, each party responsible for their pro rata share of "add-ons" (health insurance, unreimbursed health care and child/daycare)

When I lived in NY I had heard it was 12% for the first and 19% for the second, but it falls under "I heard form a guy......" so I just use that as a guide. If you are a guy you have few rights in family court in any state. Used to work in the building where the family court offices were. Get in the same elevator as people coming or going, oh boy!

Quote:

And yes, men who are not even the biological father can be held liable for child support

See I'm Pregnant, It's Not Yours, But You're the Father

It's a whole laugh riot

The guys who really get screwed are the step-fathers. Sometimes they have to cough up. JUST SAY NO!

Quote: AZDuffman

Seems like there has to be more to the story. One of the requirements of a common law marriage was you had to live as and present yourself as husband and wife. One night would not meet the test.

In one of the courthouses I worked there was a big sign that said there was no common law marriage in Pennsylvania.

I don't recall all the particulars, it was in the 70's Idaho. There was a lot of 'funny' stuff that happened in the panhandle of Idaho in the 60s-70's.

I did a quick search, there was more info on Duckduckgo than Google. It appears CLM stopped mid 90's, [in Idaho]. I recall two different sources telling me the story. I'm pretty sure he lost his house and she got it, not positive on the details.

"Idaho recognizes what is called a "common-law marriage". There are four requirements for a common-law marriage. First, the man and the woman both must have been eighteen years of age or older and unmarried. Second, they must have consented to be husband and wife.
icji 911 common–law marriage defined - State of Idaho
https://isc.idaho.gov/jury/criminal/900/ICJI_911.doc"

Speaking of conversation and kids, maybe you should adopt a couple kids. And by that I mean those kids you adopt in another country by sending $20 dollars or some such a month. Then you get a picture, and how they're going to school now, and they can afford pencils, and regular updates from them etc.,

As far as conversation, this is how that goes. During your first meet up you tell your date you have kids. She thinks, kids and bringing emotional baggage/ex-spouse in the picture OR maybe she thinks kids, and yippie because she loves kids. EITHER WAY, it's good. Because next you reveal you sponsor poor underprivileged kids. You show her pictures, maybe their letter. Now she suddenly sees you in a different light. You've got a heart of gold. She may even feel not worthy.

It's a win win win all around for several reasons. Probably bring in better prospects all around.

Quote: petroglyph

I don't recall all the particulars, it was in the 70's Idaho. There was a lot of 'funny' stuff that happened in the panhandle of Idaho in the 60s-70's.

I did a quick search, there was more info on Duckduckgo than Google. It appears CLM stopped mid 90's, [in Idaho]. I recall two different sources telling me the story. I'm pretty sure he lost his house and she got it, not positive on the details.

It used to be a thing where people thought just living together 7 years was a common-law marriage. That actually went back to ancient times IIRC, I think we learned about it in 6th grade history of the Greeks or Romans. I do remember a law class in HS in the 1980s where we were told our state had it and what the requirements are. The teacher of that class was pretty sharp, so I am certain he was up to date.

As a guess it died when no-fault divorce came on the scene. There had to be more to it to steal the guy's house.

Hey, AOS.

Ty Cobb still has the best batting average in baseball, lifetime. At .366, he still struck out nearly 2 out of every 3. EVERYBODY else is worse, thousands of guys. So don't give up.

When you hit a dead end....Don't take it hard. Don't take it personally. And above all, don't listen to these guys here who are old and alone, unless that's the life you really want.

Just keep a smile on your face, treat women like humans with a brain if you're interested in them, and go slow. Make friends first. Even if the magic doesn't happen with a girl you like, she has friends she'll introduce you to IF you make her your friend.

Or even change her mind about you for herself. Sometimes women need validation from other women before they give a guy a chance. There's a reason for that. We go on tilt when we like a guy. And we stop seeing him for what he is. We see him as we want him to be. We make excuses for little things that should be red flags.

But we see those flags pretty clearly for other women we care about, and we try to tell our friend before she's too wrapped up in a guy to know he's wrong for her. Could be completely her, not him, but they're not going to work past the first heat.

So if a girl suddenly backs off, it could well not be you. It could be the combination is bad because of who she is. You just need to dust yourself off and keep looking.

BTW, it's almost always better if you let her start the touching. Make yourself available but let her take your arm crossing a street, let your hand brush hers, but not take it until she does, let it all be natural and unforced. When you tell her a joke, let yourself be close enough for her to lay her hand on your shoulder or knee when she laughs. Keep your face friendly and open, not giving her hot looks. Look at her eyes, not her chest. Let her build the intimacy, but be responsive to it.

Be sure to treat ANYONE you interact with while you're around her with pleasant patience and respect. Women watch very closely how a man treats waitresses/waiters, cashiers, taxi drivers, whoever. We know that the time will come, if we get into a relationship, that we'll be on the receiving end of your manners or lack of them. And saying something mean about a screw-up from a person like that does not build intimacy, even if she makes a mean remark. Gracious "oh, well, let's not let that spoil our fun" goes a lot further.

You probably also need to decide what to say about MM. I would guess girl 2 checked you out and found that episode through friends or google. It does not flatter you. I would also guess some combination of "I got a bad edit" and "I learned a lot about how other people saw me back then, and I'm a better person for it" would get you past most of any leftover animus. And then prove it through how you act around her.

Anyway, just some random.and hopefully useful thoughts. Good luck with it!

Quote: beachbumbabs

Anyway, just some random.and hopefully useful thoughts. Good luck with it!

All good advice, but today it's almost
not worth it to get close to a woman.
A man has too much too lose, with
#metoo worries and the number of
monetary predator women there
are around. Especially women over
35 that have been around awhile.
They're like sharks, self preservation
is on their minds at all times.