My 2 experiences attempting to date this past week

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December 1st, 2018 at 1:02:29 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 51
Posts: 608
I am trying to get back onto the dating scene after a self-imposed hiatus due to work and being too busy to really give a maximum effort into dating and getting to know someone.

First: Last week, prior to the Thanksgiving holiday, an attorney contacted me because an ex-paralegal at the firm i'm at put me down as a reference. Upon giving her a glowing review, the attorney informed me that she thought the paralegal was right for the job and my review sealed the deal for her, they would make her a job offer.
The attorney then asked if she could ask a personal question - intrigued, I replied "Sure" - she asked me if I was single because she had seen me on that blasted reality show years ago and had always wanted to meet me - I informed her that I was single and SHE suggested we get together sometime soon - I told her it sounded like a plan and I would be in touch.
Fast forward to this past Wednesday when I sent her a short email saying hello, that the paralegal told me she was very happy at her new job and asked what her plans were for this weekend or next weekend.
So far, I've been met with radio silence.

-------

Second: Met a cute woman on the train earlier this week night - we chatted and flirted the whole 1 ½ hr. ride - a minute or so before my stop I told her I had a great time chatting and would like to continue - she offered me her number and even put it into my phone - about 10 minutes later I sent her a text telling her I had fun talking with her and she made the commute fly by - she replied with basically the same thing and we chatted via text for the next hour.
Then on Thursday, I sent her a text that stated: "Good morning-hope you have an amazing day - what are your weekend plans" and left her a voicemail telling her I would love to take her out and continue our conversation
So far, more radio silence.
December 1st, 2018 at 2:24:25 PM permalink
AZDuffman
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 112
Posts: 8886
These games are a huge part of why I have given up looking.

Leykis101. Ignore them and move on. If and when they do want to meet either just a drink or load up before dinner do you only want a salad.
The man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it
December 1st, 2018 at 2:36:45 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 122
Posts: 16033
Quote: aceofspades

So far, more radio silence.


Who knows about the first one.
The second one was way too
soon and way too much. You
don't want to rush it, alarm
bells go off with women when
you do that. Or maybe she's
playing hard to get. Either way,
you'll find out.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
December 1st, 2018 at 3:23:16 PM permalink
Wizard
Administrator
Member since: Oct 23, 2012
Threads: 208
Posts: 4953
I'm about the last person to be giving dating advice, but I will anyway. My advice it to play it a bit more cool. Not to an extreme that EB would probably advise, but you want to care equal or a little bit less than her. The person who is less interested has all the bargaining power, but if you show too little interest, she may just move on.

I also wonder if these women can easily find this reality show you were on by searching on your real name. Perhaps that is the reason these relationships fizzle between the first and second dates.

Also, I have some personal advice, based on knowing you a bit, but it might seem a bit harsh. If you're easily offended, you shouldn't ask for it. However, if you have a thick skin, send me a PM and ask, if you want. Also, keep in mind I don't know a damn thing about women.
Knowledge is Good -- Emil Faber
December 1st, 2018 at 3:27:26 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 51
Posts: 608
Quote: Wizard
I'm about the last person to be giving dating advice, but I will anyway. My advice it to play it a bit more cool. Not to an extreme that EB would probably advise, but you want to care equal or a little bit less than her. The person who is less interested has all the bargaining power, but if you show too little interest, she may just move on.

I also wonder if these women can easily find this reality show you were on by searching on your real name. Perhaps that is the reason these relationships fizzle between the first and second dates.

Also, I have some personal advice, based on knowing you a bit, but it might seem a bit harsh. If you're easily offended, you shouldn't ask for it. However, if you have a thick skin, send me a PM and ask. Also, keep in mind I don't know a damn thing about women.



I am open to constructive advice but I know what you mean about my sensitive quotient for hearing things I don't like lol

As for fizzling between first and second dates, I have not even had the first date and woman #1 apparently was interested because she saw me on the show
December 1st, 2018 at 4:07:52 PM permalink
zippyboy
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 576
What reality show was it?
December 1st, 2018 at 4:14:19 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 122
Posts: 16033
Quote: zippyboy
What reality show was it?


Really? I mean, really???? It's only been
discussed a hundred times. I have it
in my library.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
December 1st, 2018 at 4:15:29 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 51
Posts: 608
Quote: Evenbob
Really? I mean, really????


The ultimate in schadenfreude
December 1st, 2018 at 4:17:26 PM permalink
Fleastiff
Member since: Oct 27, 2012
Threads: 54
Posts: 6563
My advice:
"what are your plans for the weekend' sounds very intrusive and too suggestive of spending an entire weekend together.

If you are seeking a lunch date or dinner date say so. 'Would you like to have lunch with me this coming Saturday' is less intrusive than 'what are your plans'.
And far more 'low key'. Her response might be 'dinner and drinks on Saturday' or something or it might be lunch on Sunday or whatever. You seem to be too intrusive and too vague. Don't ask her plans, make a suggestion for 'x' and see if there is a response.
December 1st, 2018 at 4:51:13 PM permalink
zippyboy
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 576
Quote: Evenbob
Really? I mean, really???? It's only been
discussed a hundred times. I have it
in my library.

I do remember a member here telling us of his experiences on Jeopardy. Is that it?

You needn't bash others for their ignorance, Bob. Most of us do other things during the day besides constantly monitoring various social websites.
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