How do you want to die...?

Injection, madness, suicide, applause, and encore. Or maybe just choke on a cough drop.

Quote: Mission146

Don’t know, don’t care. The vast majority of it is completely immaterial to me, quite literally.

It's anything you want it to be,
it's eternal. The past is gone
and all we can do is invent
the future. This moment in
time is eternity. It's the constant
'right now', it's what the Eastern
sages strive to live in. Be Her Now,
as Baba Ram Das used to say.
Because we seldom are, we're in
the past or inventing the future.

This thread has brought up a lot of feelings and memories from my childhood and my dad.

Dad died in 1977. I was 17. He was 49. I'm now 61.

Being a naive kid, I assumed it was normal for old people to spend a few days in the hospital a few times each year. It never occurred to me that he was the only one regularly going to the hotel hospital. As such, I didn't think he was any different than any of the other neighborhood dads, or my uncles, etc. Even now looking back, I believe I grew up in a relatively normal suburban middle class lifestyle. He didn't let his illness hold him back.

It was only after he died that I learned that 13 years prior, the doctor told my mom that he had about 6 months to go. As was customary in the sixties, she was given the option of letting him know or not.

She chose to withhold that info, although he did find out about 7 years later.

So now, although the question posed by this thread doesn't really address these options, I'm unsure if I would have wanted to be told if I were him.

If you know you're sick, with 6 months to live, how much do you change your lifestyle? How long after the 6 months pass do you reevaluate things? How long after that do you reevaluate things again? How much does all that screw with your head?

Would you reevaluate your lifestyle if you suddenly learned that 7 years ago the doctor gave you 6 months? You've suddenly learned that you beat the odds. Now what?


Then there's my mom. She passed away a couple years ago, at 86. In her early 70's she suffered a stroke leaving her paralized on one side. It was bad enough that she needed to go to a nursing home.

While she never gave me any reason to believe that she wanted 'out', she did once mention that she understands why some people would seek the assistance of Dr Kevorkian. That was an interesting conversation.


Then there’s my thoughts of PaiGowDan. I’m sure most of you knew him, but we were good friends, spending a lot of time together whenever I was in town. One day three years ago, he simply didn’t wake up.

He was my age. The first, and still only one of my contemporaries to go. If that doesn’t get your attention....


Anyway, while I know none of this answers the original question, I hope I've provided some food for thought.

I live in a similar time frame to you. I'm also 61. I also lost my Father in the late 70's. He was a manic depressive. Life was good but small issues turned into major issues in his head and he no longer wanted to live. That enlightened me to dealing with my own struggles with depression. I also met Paigow Dan in Vegas. Also got to meet his wife. Scary how one day you dont wake up. I think he had some health issues anyway.
I want to live for many more years but I want live in a healthy body where I can still bike. I'm thrilled I made it to the RV retirement life pretty healthy.

Same cancer as Alex Trebak.

It's easier to accept the fact you are dying then it is waiting for a diagnosis.

Quote: AZDuffman

Fast and painless. Shot, bus run over, in my sleep, piano fall on me. Fast and painless.

I will not do chemo.

Agree. Would not want anything drawn out where you know it is coming. I mean, of course you know it’s coming at some point but a terminal diagnosis would really put it into focus. So yeah, fast and painless. And preferably not at an age where the quality of life is gone. Let me go at 80 not 95.

Quote: Aussie

And preferably not at an age where the quality of life is gone. Let me go at 80 not 95.

Looking at the last 10 years of
my father in laws life, from 85
to 95, it was pathetic. He went
from a hunter and guide in
MT, owning several properties,
to being a victim of the doctors
who kept him barely alive and
took every penny he had. All
the inheritance his kids might
have gotten went to doctors
and a $7000 a month care
facility. In the end he was in a
wheelchair, head on his chest,
and could only whisper answers
to questions. Awful.

Quote: Evenbob

Looking at the last 10 years of
my father in laws life, from 85
to 95, it was pathetic. He went
from a hunter and guide in
MT, owning several properties,
to being a victim of the doctors
who kept him barely alive and
took every penny he had. All
the inheritance his kids might
have gotten went to doctors
and a $7000 a month care
facility. In the end he was in a
wheelchair, head on his chest,
and could only whisper answers
to questions. Awful.

Plenty of people do that. Try to extend their life to the point they're helpless and potentially at the mercy of anyone responsible for them. Sometimes they're well taken care, other times they don't get so lucky.

Quote: Evenbob

Looking at the last 10 years of
my father in laws life, from 85
to 95, it was pathetic. He went
from a hunter and guide in
MT, owning several properties,
to being a victim of the doctors
who kept him barely alive and
took every penny he had. All
the inheritance his kids might
have gotten went to doctors
and a $7000 a month care
facility. In the end he was in a
wheelchair, head on his chest,
and could only whisper answers
to questions. Awful.

Ahhhh... The doctors sought him out, gave him treatment options against his will to keep him alive..... Somehow he was teleported to that $7,000 a month care facility.... couldn't have gone there on purpose?
Of course not! There were tons of papers to fill out to get into the $7,000 a month place, trust me, as when someone APPLIES to get into one, their finances are checked first. So your F in Law made a conscious decision to go there.... NO ONE FORCED him!
"Took" every penny he had? That's like saying I went to a car dealer, bought a car for $50k, and they 'took' my $50k!

So what do you propose, Bob? I propose letting him stay at home for as long as he and his loved ones want, but I also propose there being a $7,000 a month place that he can choose to go into if he wants. Sounds like what I propose is what happened.

As far as quality of life past 80..... I do agree with you.... I know many people who have a quality of life I would not want, but, happily, I also know quite a few that are happy octo and nonogenarians.