Attending religious rituals

I have an outdated ritual for a nephew tomorrow.

I don't mind attending such religious rituals if I am there only as a spectator. But my sister in law keeps trying to include me in it. I honestly don't care if this is important to them or not, I do not take part in religious rituals of any kind. I don't try to convince them not to marry in a temple, do I? Or even not to do minor genital mutilation on their sons, even though I'm strongly opposed to it. So why can't they respect my desire to be left out of their religion?

I even attended a wedding at a Catholic church once, decades ago. But then no one tried to make me a part of the ritual.

Mazel tov?

I've found it is much easier on all to do what you're doing. Suck up the fact that you hate being in church for the benefit of those you love, politely but steadfastly refuse the thing which you cannot tolerate, and do it all with decorum. No amount of arguing is going to change their mind, none is going to change yours. Agree to disagree, and let's have some of that cake.

What else you gonna do? I've found, from an architectural perspective, that holy places are usually a nice place to be in. Nothing like high ceilings and odd artwork to keep a mind busy for an hour or three =)

Quote: Face

Mazel tov?

Meh.

But thanks for asking.

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What else you gonna do? I've found, from an architectural perspective, that holy places are usually a nice place to be in. Nothing like high ceilings and odd artwork to keep a mind busy for an hour or three =)

I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I'm afraid that won't work with me. At such places I think of all the money, the effort, the time, the creativity lavished on them for no good reason at all. Not to mention the time, money and such they suck out of their congregants. It gets me depressed.

Quote: Face

Agree to disagree,

Isn't that what you say to people when you want to blow them off?

Quote: Nareed

I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I'm afraid that won't work with me. At such places I think of all the money, the effort, the time, the creativity lavished on them for no good reason at all. Not to mention the time, money and such they suck out of their congregants. It gets me depressed.

Do you think the same thing when you see a wonderful kitchen that someone, who definitely loves cooking put together? Or when you look at a hockey rink do you just see a waste? Look at it instead as a building that is put together out of love, if not for God, for the love of a community of like minded people who find comfort and solace in sharing the ups and downs of the journey of life together and who share a common belief system or philosophy of life and morals.

Quote: Nareed

Meh.

But thanks for asking.

Lol, no problem.

Quote: Nareed

I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I'm afraid that won't work with me. At such places I think of all the money, the effort, the time, the creativity lavished on them for no good reason at all. Not to mention the time, money and such they suck out of their congregants. It gets me depressed.

But you watch football. I think you could draw many parallels, from the money, the tax free status, the damage done to youth...

Maybe a comparison to the church of football to the church of Christ may distract you for a moment. If not, well... at least your not allowing your prejudices interfere with family happiness. That is commendable.

Quote: Nareed

Isn't that what you say to people when you want to blow them off?

Well, I don't actually say it. I'm very non-confrontational as a rule, so with things I'm uncomfortable with but must still do, like attending a church function, I just keep quiet and blow off steam in other ways. Maybe hockey, or coming to DT to rant and rave. But I don't often find myself in situations I would rate as "intolerable". Mostly it's just annoyance. In those cases, I just tune out and daydream =p

Quote: FrGamble

Or when you look at a hockey rink do you just see a waste?

Of course not. It can be used for figure skating ;)

I do feel the same way when I see lavish "public" buildings, and also monuments to people like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, etc.

If it helps you any, my distaste for temples also applies to pagan ones. The Sun and Moon pyramids never felt right to me. Alas, ancient temples are important because often the ancients built nothing else to last a long time. They also often recorded important historical data there.

Quote: Face

But you watch football. I think you could draw many parallels, from the money, the tax free status, the damage done to youth...

Not as many. Football offers entertainment, a measure of intellectual stimulation, and athletic performances always at the limit of human ability. If that went on in a temple, I'd go more often than once every few years.

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Well, I don't actually say it.

I do only to blow people off. To me it means something like "Look, you're too dense to see the point, and too stubborn to consider alternatives, so let's stop arguing."

Quote: Nareed

So why can't they respect my desire to be left out of their religion?

Maybe that is what love is, still wanting to include you knowing full well that you find their beliefs distasteful? At least they cared enough about you to invite you.

Turn it around on them at another time and invite them to something they object to, and if they refuse to attend you can always refer to that event.

And then there is always maybe, they really don't want you to come but you are invited just so you will send money? That is how it seems to work with all the graduates I have met over the years. I get invites from 3500 miles away, I know they don't really want me there, a check seems to work just fine. At least I still get invites, soon it will be from grandkids.

Sometime maybe I will show up, then they will stop inviting me for sure. I can see it now, me pushing my IV tree wearing my hospital gown with my ass showing in the back, haven't shaved for a week and farting and cursing like a drunken sailor. That'll fix 'em.

I guess I'm lucky I can hardly hear anything.

Quote: Nareed

I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I'm afraid that won't work with me. At such places I think of all the money, the effort, the time, the creativity lavished on them for no good reason at all. Not to mention the time, money and such they suck out of their congregants. It gets me depressed.

Wait, are we talking about casinos?