Complaints against things

1)

Dear cables,

I must admit I find your Gordian Knot trick impressive. How you manage to forge such a strong, tangled knot with so little kinetic energy is beyond me. I will not press your for details, as I know the best magicians do not reveal their secrets.

However, my dear bundles of copper and insulation, we've seen this trick too many times. It fails to get the reaction it once did. Don't you think it's time you tried something else? Perhaps a simple knot, easily undone, or, even better, staying completely untangled?


2)

Dear iPhone,

It's touching that you worry so much about my entertainment needs that you feel compelled to remind me cellular data is turned off for podcasts. Neither of us wants me to wind up without a podcast for a long drive, or a long, traffic-enhanced commute. I realize that.

But you just have to realize I know what I'm doing. With over 50 hours of podcasts already stored in your memory, I'm in no imminent danger of running out. Therefore I would really appreciate it if you stopped reminding me about it every single time I open the podcast player, in particular where there's plenty of Wi Fi available should any downloads be required.