Men over40, never married, no kids

And don't wear a Rolex.

Quote: petroglyph

One time in your life spend a couple thousand bucks on some premium sex. .

Premium sex is when you have feelings
for the person and they have feelings
for you. Been there, kinda done that.
If you think that's what money buys,
you have some serious issues. You're
at the bottom rung of the ladder, sonny,
and you think you're at the top.

Quote: aceofspades

My attitude is, they should pay me

Lol, I feel the same way. She's offering me sex
for money, is that all she's got? Pathetic. I
can find sex everywhere for free if I wanted,
you just have to know where to look. I had a
friend in Calif decades ago who got laid all
the time. Women are easy, he would say. And
he was right.

Quote: aceofspades

Plus, I have a hang up on not wanting to get anyone pregnant, which is always a risk even with condoms and birth control

+1

Quote: AZDuffman

+1

Super easy to avoid. Go and get the snip.

Quote: rxwine

Also, have you talked to FrGamble? They need priests.

It is a great life, pray about it!

Seriously though in seminary it felt like every other day we were doing a workshop on celibacy and the challenges of not getting married. They really do an excellent job now a days in preparing you to make that decision. Believe it or not you won't die without having sex, but you will die or hurt yourself through loneliness. We need to have other people in our lives, good friends, hopefully family, people we share interests with, and maybe God willing one or two people we can bear our soul to. You don't need to be married to have this. In fact there is traditionally four vocations in the Church: the married life, Holy Orders (priesthood), religious life (nuns, monks, etc.), and the single life. If you are single pray about it and ask God if you are called to the single life. If that is your vocation you will find peace and happiness in accepting that.

Quote: FrGamble

It is a great life, pray about it!

Seriously though in seminary it felt like every other day we were doing a workshop on celibacy and the challenges of not getting married. They really do an excellent job now a days in preparing you to make that decision. Believe it or not you won't die without having sex, but you will die or hurt yourself through loneliness. We need to have other people in our lives, good friends, hopefully family, people we share interests with, and maybe God willing one or two people we can bear our soul to. You don't need to be married to have this. In fact there is traditionally four vocations in the Church: the married life, Holy Orders (priesthood), religious life (nuns, monks, etc.), and the single life. If you are single pray about it and ask God if you are called to the single life. If that is your vocation you will find peace and happiness in accepting that.

You know Padre, when I was a kid, I had stated I wanted to be a priest. However, as I hit my 30's, I became an atheist (as you know from our prior discussions).
I believe I have no motivation to actually go out and expend energy on meeting someone…I am comfortable staying at home with my dog. My social life consists of casinos (I usually get to know everyone in the casino when I am frequent guest thereof and for the days I am there feel like the "mayor"). However, I then go back to my normal life and it is a let down. I am not a "partier" and hence I do not go out to nightclubs. Additionally, the bar scene seems to be for the youth of America and I am old at 42.
I know there are bars/clubs for people my age but the women therein are out for their second husbands, this time only seeking dollar signs, not substance.
I will admit I am selfish, probably from being single for so long and like to do what I want, when I want…I realize this can be a problem.

Quote: aceofspades

I know there are bars/clubs for people my age but the women therein are out for their second husbands, this time only seeking dollar signs, not substance.

Not always. Many bars with 42 year old males will have 24 year old females who are decidedly not looking for second husbands and may be simply looking for a Friend with Benefits type situation.

Quote: Fleastiff

Not always. Many bars with 42 year old males will have 24 year old females who are decidedly not looking for second husbands and may be simply looking for a Friend with Benefits type situation.

Some women of my acquaintance, out of their first marriage are looking for less dollars and more companionship. They either got money or family from the first time around (or both) and now looking for something else. People are different.

Quote: FrGamble

If you are single pray about it and ask God if you are called to the single life. If that is your vocation you will find peace and happiness in accepting that.

I had thought a "vocation" had to be a Holy Order or religious life, but then I remembered way back in grade school, grade 4 or 5 IIRC they gave us a little prayer card about vocations and it mentioned all four you say. I do remember saying it nightly for a week or two. Maybe it worked because I am and always have been fine being single.

I am sure you counsel on this, Padre, but it seems to me that there are plenty of married people who are lonely while there are plenty of single people who are fulfilled. I find there are two keys to feeling fulfilled when single. First it to simply not care when others think something is wrong with it. The more people press, the more fun I have. One even pressed so far as to say if I was not going to be married why not be a priest? (His dad was some kind of minister, I forger the denomination, and he was on the Pope's Twitter feed.) I told him sorry, not interested. He eventually gave up and moved on to questioning me on something else. He wasn't a bad guy but was a but nebby.

Second key is you have to form your own "family" around something. I have family locally and am kind of known as "that crazy uncle." When I lived other places I developed other connections. Singles group, roommates, even the core group at a bar made of people with no regular family. Unless you are a real hermit you will find something.

Meanwhile, how many of us know married people who are actually lonely? You know the type, the ones who will work late, volunteer for a business trip, do charity work, or anything to keep out of the house because they dread going home? If you are over 30 and haven't seen this you have seen it but did not realize what was going on.

I'm content. If I meet someone I do, if I don't I don't.