Migraines

Fuck migraines. Fuck them to hell and back. Seriously. Fuck 'em.

I got one Monday. Been getting them since I was about 16. In my twenties, they were cataclysmic. The last few years... not too bad at all. Go blind, get a little confused... little bit of pain, pass out. Wake up a few hours later confused and angry,... so pretty much normal lol. Been feeling like I was "growing out of them".

The one last night lasted Twenty. One. Fucking. Hours. And it was horrible.

Sometime around hour 11 I started crying uncontrollably. Not due to pain or frustration or anything, really. I felt it in my mind, just random bolts of unhinged electricity pinging that part of my brain, and I just started crying. Had no control over it. I felt my face cringe and contort into weird expressions of emotions and I wasn't telling it to do it at all. I started shaking, totally without reason. Writhing on the floor as if I was some 210lb marionette of flesh and misery. Completely powerless as the storm raged in my head.

I finally fell asleep after 14 or so hours and woke up 6 later... it was still going on. Sleep has always killed them... now I was just hoping someone would kill me. I felt a knife in my chest and held it... couldn't feel my heartbeat. I thought I was going to die... and I couldn't wait. 5 minutes later... still wasn't dead. Ash eventually found my pulse... 35.

A few hours later it finally faded into "extreme pain" and I could think again. Everything hurt. I felt like I just came down from a dirty batch of E and had a concussion and got hit by a car being hauled by a truck that was on a train.

27 hours after it had started, I finally felt good enough to get off the floor where I had laid and writhed in abject misery for over a day. And now to figure out who I am all over again...