Bear Joke
August 7th, 2013 at 3:49:28 AM permalink | |
odiousgambit Member since: Oct 28, 2012 Threads: 154 Posts: 5116 | Pretty good
http://www.treehugger.com/corporate-responsibility/how-to-recognize-bear-tracks-in-the-woods.html I'm Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah [it's an old guy chant for me] |
August 7th, 2013 at 5:36:57 AM permalink | |
chickenman Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 0 Posts: 368 |
Excellent! He's everywhere, he's everywhere...! |
August 7th, 2013 at 1:19:40 PM permalink | |
rxwine Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 189 Posts: 18776 | Is this a bear joke thread or general joke thread or neither?!! : ) Well, not a bear joke, but my sister told me an old joke last night. (heard it before). Man is taking a shortcut home through a graveyard at night. Very dark, no moon, and unfortunately, he falls into a open grave for next morning burial. He tries to get out, but soon realizes that crumbling dirt is making his effort useless. So, seeing he is not going to get out, he figures in daylight someone will come by and help him out. He sits at one end and nods off eventually. He is awoken awhile later by a thump and cussing of another man also fallen in the grave at the other end. The man doesn't see him in the darkness, and tries in vain to scramble out. He watches the man for a minute or two, and then finally speaks, "You're not getting out of here." But the man did. Under a second too. You believe in an invisible god, and dismiss people who say they are trans? Really? |
August 7th, 2013 at 4:48:11 PM permalink | |
odiousgambit Member since: Oct 28, 2012 Threads: 154 Posts: 5116 |
don't see why not! I'm Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah [it's an old guy chant for me] |
August 9th, 2013 at 3:31:48 AM permalink | |
ewjones Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 6 Posts: 32 | Thought this one was hilarious when I heard it as a kid... Two men walked into a bar... .. The third one ducked |
August 9th, 2013 at 5:30:58 AM permalink | |
DJTeddyBear Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 5 Posts: 265 | Never go into the woods alone. That way, when the bear charges, you can remind yourself that there's no need to outrun the bear. You only need you outrun your buddy. Ignorance is bliss and knowledge is power. But having only some facts can get you into trouble! |
August 9th, 2013 at 8:49:28 PM permalink | |
1nickelmiracle Member since: Mar 5, 2013 Threads: 24 Posts: 623 | It kind of reminds me of cat owners who put bells on their cats thinking it will make them unable to hunt, but in reality, it makes them better hunters. I stopped on the side of the highway after a giant bridge over a ravine and saw a bear crap. It was huge like the size of a basketball. No wonder they have the expression does a bear crap in the woods. Must have been the same bear creating news walking across the county and right by my house. How crazy it would have been to see a bear which can completely demolish you if you don't act accordingly. I would be scared like crazy, but also think how cool it would be. Don't ever wrestle a bear for money either. Someone I know paid $20 to pin a bear for $1,000 and everyone laughed when it completely dominated him and simulated sex on him. They're trained to do that. |
August 10th, 2013 at 1:00:06 PM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25013 | Best Rodney Dangerfield joke. I don't get no respect from my wife. She cut me off from sex except for twice a month. Thats not the worst part, she cut two other guys off completely. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |